Dec

Salam Disember . 

Banyak yang terjadi tahun ni , 

Perpisahan di awal tahun , 

Persahabatan di tengah tahun , 

Dan tak sangka , akhirnya ....

Perpisahan jua . 

Bukan perpisahan sementara , 

Tetapi perpisahan yang kekal . 

Tak tahulah kekal sampai bila. 

Yang pasti , amat sukar untuk berjumpa kembali 

Banyak yang aku lalui tahun ini , 

Kesedihan , kegembiraan.  

Manis , pahit .

Ketawa menangis senyum sengih sentap

Semua lah . 

Tahun ni jugak mengajar aku untuk menjadi seorang yang kuat

Tabah . 

Membuka mata aku . 

Bukan semuanya mudah , 

Kadang kadang terpalit kesusahan dalam setiap kemudahan

Tapi , kita kena harungi tempuhi . 

Barulah namanya hidup . 

Tahun depan ada 12 bulan untuk ditempuhi . 

Yang pasti , pengakhirannya , aku akan pastikan 

Aku menjadi manusia paling gembira . 

Itu janji aku . 

March 2015 . 

In Sha Allah. 

Genap sebulan disana . 

Be happy . 

Nottamunae

Do you remember ? 

You once say

"Why depressed when you have an option to be happy "

"Why crying when you have an option to smile"

First , you asked , why depressed , why cying , 

Do you know , it is all because of you , 

Because of you , she depressed , 

Because of you . She cried .

You never ever know what she feels , 

Because , you never care what she feels , 

She is one little idiot for loving you . 

Why she misses you , 

When you are not even miss her , 

When you are not even remember her ?

Second , You say , 

Why depressed , when you have an option to be happy , 

Why crying , when you have an option to smile

You are totally wrong , 

You never always right . 

In her list , in her option , 

There is no written 'smile' or 'happy' 

You should say , 

Why depressed , when you have an option to be more depressed , 

Why crying , when you have an option to keep crying , 

That is what written in her option-list 

'More depressed' 'keep crying'

Do you know that ? 

Of course you don't .

Unneeded

 When you have that one feeling . 

"Unneeded"

Screw that feeling . 

You just feel . Like you're completely useless . 

I once had this nasty feeling . 

I even had it now . Right now . 

So.....

, its not a healthy feeling , 

Believe me . 

It sicks . 

So , if you experienced such feeling

Let it out . 

Just exactly like how i do right now , 

It makes me calm act . 

I just like 

"Daaar . Its better i play my Candy Crush . Tweets . Posting or wtv"

 Rather than uknw

"Omg. She hates me . I annoyed them . Oh no . I shouldnt txt them ."

"I have no friends , they hate me "

Goodbye 

...

Tersentap dengan Whatsapp member

"Women should not be the moon which everyone see uncovered . But women should be the sun which makes eyes bow down before seeing it" 

He said , its the Quote Of The Day . 

Alhamdulillah . 

Im grateful for having such a caring friend . 

Well , 

People make mistakes . I do . 

And i need people around me , 

To keep on reminding me . 

If i did something wrong .

I take this quote seriously . 

Eventho , i think that this guy.  Maybe having boredom strikes 

I dont know . 

What is his purpose sending me that kind of quote ?

But alhamdulillah for reminding me . 

I can say , 

Compared to other girls , ive met . Ive friend with . 

Well , i am better enough lah kot .

Atleast , im not giving my pictures for fun to the guys . 

Ive met a girl , she just know this guy for like a day ?! 

And she gave the guy her pictures . Can u imagine that ???

Ok . Lets skip 

Ikhtilat . Im talking about ikhtilat here

Honestly . Im not good at this things , 

I do speak to guys . I do laugh with guys

I do text guys . I do have feeling with guys . 

But , i am protecting myself at the same time

I do speak , but i do not speak lagha . 

But .... Maybe sometimes . When the guys like fanboying 

And i have to like cheer them , give them happiness

Evnthough i know it is wrong . Totally wrong . 

But ......... What can i do ? 

I do laugh wih guys . 

I do laugh like a seal . But ...

I cant deny the truth that when i laugh , i laugh so hard . 

That the guys think im one of them . 

Lets not talk about this 

I do text them . 

If and only they text me . Or i have some important things to say uknw ......

And i do have feelings for guys . 

Its normal kot . Typical for a girl . 

Well minat minat stuff is normal .

But insyaallah , new year . Everything change ! 

So ....

Iktilat doesnt mean 

You do not talk to either guys or girls .

AT ALL

You talk to girls or guys , 

But at the same time , you guarding yourself . You control yourself . 

So , thats it ...

Conclusion , that i can make is

" Jagalah Ikhtilat "

In Sya Allah 

Sedikit sedikit menjaga . 

Right....

"Be the sun , and not the moon"

Assalamualaikum 😊

I do not know

Its weird . 

How the guys treat me like i am a guy

They share their secret

Just like that 

They trust me . 

They talk to me everyday , 

This one guy la . 

He told me , he fanboying

Over her crush . 

And here i am , 

Just follow the flow

I do not know what to do 

What to act . 

Im just ... 

I do not know 

I am tired talking to them 

But then , 

I talk to myself 

Just go and talk to them 

Maybe one day , 

When you need someone to talk to

At least you have at least one 

That appreciate you

Unless he just using me 

For his own profit

Who would know

I do not know

 

What on earth , why do they suddenly 

Wanna talk to me , express their feeling

Told me their secret . 

They .

Are . 

Weird . 

Seriously .

Trust .

Me . 

Screwed

Everything's screwed up

Everything's messed up

Everyhing went the way i never thought it will be 

Everything's a disaster 

But Nothing goes the way i planned 

I'm hurt

I'm screwed 

I'm sick 

But , I'm fine

Still waiting for someone to say 

"I know you're not fine"

But i know , "nothing goes the way i planned"

I'm so sad . 

He threw me. 

Like im a rubbish . 

I give him flowers

He accept them.

But then , 

He tell me to buy a mirror , 

And

See myself in the mirror 

"Am i qualified?"

I'm fine .

Sayang sekali . 

Waktu dia sedang mencari makna kehidupan

Waktu dia dimana sedang mencari makna cinta

Waktu dia berjumpa dengan seorang yang pantas buat dirinya

Waktu dia mula belajar menjadi seorang perempuan 

Waktu dia mula bertatih mencari cahaya kehidupan 

Waktu itulah si dia juga pergi mencari kehidupannya

Waktu itulah si dia pergi meninggalkannya

Waktu itulah si dia pergi jauh 

Namun ,

Disamping teman-teman 

Yang sangat prihatin 

Selalu membangkitkan dia . 

Setiap hari mereka menyapa dia

Bertanya bagaimanakah kehidupannya

Dia akan menjawab 

"I'm fine"

Namun , jawapan yang dinantikan , bukanlah

"Good" ataupun "Inilah dirimu yang sebenarnya"

Dia menanti satu jawapan , 

"I know you're not fine"

Tetapi . Belum ada seorang cowok atau cewek

Yang mengeluarkan ayat itu . 

Seringkali dia menanti . 

Namun , dia tahu harapan itu hanyalah satu harapan yang sia sia . 

"Thanks for your guys shoulders"

Ini sahaja yang mampu dia ungkapkan 

Sewaktu ...

Si dia pergi meninggalkan dirinya . 

Dan sahabatnya tidak putus memberi kata semangat . 

Terimalah aku ...

"...... Baik jadi lelaki je duh"

"...... Macam Jantan"

This happened to me . 

I do not have cute voice

I do not have polite giggles

I do not have beautiful face

I do not have cute face

I do not have perfect body

I do not have what guys need

I do not have soft character 

I have guttural voice

I have seal laugh

I have ugly face

I have not cute face 

I have a fat body

I have what other girls do not want to have

I am vicious

But then , i take this all as a Gift . 

They say , the way i laugh . I should be a boy instead of a girl 

Allah made me this way . I cant just say i hate everything

Im glad Allah made me this way 

Who knows , 

If i have a cute voice , the guys will be seduced 

If i have polite giggles , i might be a btc*

Etc

Everything happens for a reason

No matter who you are , what are you 

You are you 

Please be grateful . 

And stop teasing others

Thats so bad

Seriously 

If you are too damn perfect ... 

No no

Nobody perfect . Thank you