You know that time when you thought teaching adults technologies are the only way to escape from having outdated circles,
Guess you are wrong.

Letter Never Sent

Um Hi,

It's me, your Friend.

I haven't done a lot of blogging back then, I just lack of inspiration.
But i'm super ready now.

I just wanted you to know how I feel about you, how I feel all this time, how I feel about all of this.
Its a bit cheesy, but I promise it's from the deep of my broken heart. Ops i said it!

Its funny how the first day I met you, I had my eyes on you. And the first thing that crossed my mind, 'not him'. I know, its a bit cruel and mean, but hahahaha i have no idea why I said that! But you look soooo grumpy, like an old man that just lost his dog or a cat,it's up to you.

Its also funny, how much I love the way you are, how quiet and shy you are. How you try so hard to avoid from being noticed, you keep a lot to yourself. You are being so closed that you won't let me be a part of you.

Its also funny how I feel different the moment you said my name. It feels weird. Not the bad weird, the good weird tho. It feels like someone......, its so hard to spill them out! It doesn't feel the same as my other friends called me. They can say my name thousand times but they still can't make me feel the way you make me feel. It feels so difference. It feels great. It's euphonious.

And its also funny, how i feel about you. How I get too comfortable with you, that all the things that you do, make me feel crazy. I remembered everything single little thing about you. I remember what you can eat, what you can't, what you love what you don't, and how much you try to avoid from me...

I may not know all the things in detail, but I'm pretty sure, the way you are distancing from me, crystal clear.

I just love to get to know you, a bit more. Just so I can understand you. But you are the one that choose to turn back. I'm about to follow you until one point, I stopped. I give up. I stop trying and start turning.

Its sad that all I feel all this year, its all about me. Its me who likes you, its me who loves you, its me who love to spend time with you, its me who love to get busy just to have time to meet you, its me who tries so hard to memorize all your likes and dislikes, its me who wanting to keep you notice of my existence , its me. And none of them includes you. None of them ever meant to you.

Its my fault, that I expect something in return. When I shouldn't. Its my fault, that Im the only one who feel this way.

And I really hope, that you feel the same way too.

I don't even remember how it feels to have family.

Kan memang ,
kita hidup untuk dibenci .

YOLO kan

Well ,
I guess ,
Its not just love fades ...

But friendship does too

Abu Hamzah

Ya Allah

Peliharalah mereka di sekelilingku , 

Yang sering menjaga aku 

dari teriknya mentari 

dari sejuknya salji 

dari sakitnya jatuh

dari peritnya luka.

Jaga mereka , 

sepertimana mereka menjaga aku . 

Sayangi mereka , 

sepertimana mereka sayangi aku . 

Gembirakan mereka , 

sepertimana mereka gembirakan aku.

عَنْ أَبِيْ حَمْزَةَ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ خَادِمِ رَسُوْل الله عَنْ النَّبِي قَالَ : لاَ يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لأَخِيْهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ

Baik kau ludah je dekat muka aku,
Dari malukan aku depan semua orang!

Aib ilaik!

Malas

Biar aku malas,
Asal aku tak hakimi kerja orang.

Biar aku malas,
Asal mulut tak celaka macam kau.

Biar aku malas,
Asal aku masih ada belas pada orang.

Biar aku malas,
Asal perangai tak macam sial.

Perasaan

Aku ada perasaan.

Hati aku tak keras macam kau
Hati aku tak busuk macam kau
Hati aku tak kering macam kau

Belajar agama,
Buka kitab itu ini,
Baca quran pagi malam
Baca mathurat subuh asar
Tunduk tunduk 5 kali sehari

Tapi mulut macam puaka.
Perangai mengalahkan setan.

It annoys me when people wear make ups and perfumes and wear pretty dresses ,
But their heart is as bad as as stink as as ugly as rotten food.

And for me, that means nothing.

Don't go over talking about how I'm getting less talkative as days passed.
But,
Go and talk about who made me want to keep myself distancing from people and go silent.

I rather be alone than unhappy...

Thiqoh

Aku tak minta untuk dikesiankan
Aku minta kau untuk memahami .

Wang ringgit kini menjadi keutamaan
Ukhuwah diketepikan
Sebab aku penat .
Aku penat berukhuwah .
Dengan mereka yang tak tahu berukhuwah

Tinggal aku sendirian ,
Kerana aku lebih selesa berseorangan
Tanpa siapa di sisi
Lantas melayan kesunyian yang menerpa

Usah tegur , usah tanya khabar
Aku tak pandang orang bertopeng
Maaf .

Exam

"Ma... Susaaaah"
"Iya? Kesiannya hang dik"

😢 will forever remember this😢

05.06.16 | Sirah Nabawi |

Hidup aku senang,
Jangan tanya aku okay ke tak.

I am really fine,
But once you asked me,
It turns out to be I'm not 

Sebab kau terlalu bergantung harap pada
dia
Dan bukan
Dia ...

Syaiton

Kawan ...

Aku mula ragu . 

Apa sebenarnya erti kawan , sahabat , teman 

bagi kau ?

Oh tak , 

Apa sebenarnya aku pada kau , 

Apa yang kau lihat dalam aku.

Lepas segala yang aku buat , 

Aku dahulukan kau dalam setiap lekuk kehidupan aku 

Kau tak hargai walau setitik . 

Aku selamatkan kau dari lembah kejahatan 

Di belakang aku , kau tikam . 

Sakit tikaman kau . 

Kali pertama aku rasa , 

Tenat parahnya , aku baru rasa .

Sebab kau yang pertama tikam , 

Kau kejam !

Im used to it.
You find me when you need me.
Im used to it.

O Allah

O Allah,
I'm hurt.
Heal me.

O Allah,
I'm sad.
Cheer me up.

O Allah,
I'm alone.
Accompany me.

O Allah,
I'm scared.
Stay by me.

O Allah,
I'm lost,
Guide me.

Rupa Manusia

Di sini aku belajar manusia itu pelbagai rupa . 

Ada yang ganas , tapi hatinya lembut .

Ada yang rock , tapi Al Quran di dada .

Ada yang hebat , tapi membangga diri . 

Ada yang pandai , tapi mendiamkan diri . 

Ada yang bising , tapi bicaranya kosong ,

Ada yang bodoh , tapi lagaknya pandai .

Human . 

They come in various types .

Various behaviours .

Various personalities. 

We often see or judge people for what they are basically .

Not what they are literally .